How can i help my confidence?
There's a fine line between being confident and being overly confident.
I suffered with a lack of confidence when i was younger, i thought other's knew better, who was interested in what i had to say, took more notice of other people's achievements and measured myself up against them. Even silly things like people might like me more if i had curlier hair, my smile was different, i wore different clothes, even thought if my parents decorated the house in a different colour or style, the list goes on and on. Those things were a big thing to me when i was younger in my early teens, and my self esteem was low, even though my parents owned their own home, i wanted for nothing within reason, I still felt i didn't match up to others and my expectations of myself were high and when i failed, my confidence and esteem would slide further down. I tried many things over the years and couldn't see my successes, i'd had a saturday job at 14, went straight into full time work, had a good circle of friends, parents that loved me and a nice home.
Every now and again i'd tell myself it only mattered to me how i was, i didn't realise i was the only one bothered by me "thoughts" and "how i should be"
It took me a long time to realise that, as i picked myself up trying to better myself, people around me seemed to change and pull away. I didn't realise like drew like, so when i was feeling negative about myself i'd be attracting people with the same thoughts and as i tried to better myself i was always pulling myself back over as it felt comfortable. I had family members say i'd changed and i wasn't their sort anymore, i was fine with that and still am, as i've found there's always a positive outcome for everyone involved when there's a break.
From a young age, i read magazine's, watched tv shows and read books on confidence and esteem, i've found through trial and error that not everything will work for everyone, but here's some tips that do work
Look in the mirror daily and tell yourself your loved, beautiful and pretty.
Deal with emotional issues you might have locked away
Make a list of the positives you like about yourself, and the negatives you aren't so happy with. Focus mainly on the positives on a daily basis and maybe monthly make a new list and you'll see how the negative list gets smaller.
Make an effort with yourself every day, shower, do your hair, if you wear make up put a little on or for males i'd say shave and aftershave.
Instead of keeping clothes "for best" and then finding you don't wear them or wear them very little, start wearing them.
Have time for you, if you can't do it daily do it weekly, kind of like a date with yourself! Relaxing bath, candles or just relaxing with some music on quietly, a walk in the open air, pamper yourself.
Stop putting yourself down, think over your achievements of the day. Maybe you smiled at a stranger and they smiled back, take notice of how it made you feel happy, maybe a stranger smiled at you and you were the one who smiled back, it makes you feel happy.
Make sure you catch up on sleep, get yourself into a routine. You'll notice your skin looks fresher and that will make you feel better about yourself.
If you notice you get pulled into gossiping or moaning, make an effort to not take part. You've heard the saying "If you can't say something nice, then say nothing" this also applies to yourself!
Have a good clearout, check through clothes, drawers, shoes, make up, aftershaves etc declutter your bedroom or house if you don't live at home with parents. "A tidy home is a tidy mind" and it's true!
Check yourself and think of how you talk about yourself and others, it really does reflect on you.
Look for the positive in everything, eventually you'll turn your thoughts around and be more positive!
These are just a few helpful tips, but remember people who are happy with themself and are positive will lift you and be happy to see you rise and support you, people who aren't as happy with themselves will not uplift you or support you but may back away from you or have excuses to not help you. This is again, a way you'll find your own inner strength to keep pushing forward.
I Hope these tips help you if you struggle with low self esteem or lack of confidence.
I welcome any comments or feedback and be grateful if you could share to help others.
Thank you