What exactly is personal growth?
There are different understandings of this but it all comes down to one thing...growth of the person's awareness. That means being more aware of your surroundings and people, how you speak to people, words or phrases you use, how your actions have a reaction, how you treat others and how you speak and act towards others which is reflected by your growth. Kindness sparks kindness
If you're an impatient person who wants or expects everything NOW, that shows traits of selfishness, thoughtlessness and shows a person who seeks attention (not always the best attention, as any attention is better than none..right?) wrong...with personal growth you become more aware that the world doesnt revolve around you and at times patience is needed, thus turning the selfishness to selflessness, thoughtfulness and the good attention. It can be acheieved wien practising mindfulness. Ideally with self-development that feeling of impatience will dissipate as the awareness of how an action causes a reaction.
I've lost count of the times i've had to bite my tongue as someone has started a sentance with "I'm not being funny but..." course they're being "funny" because i havn't done things their way or how they think it should be done, but they've not looked at their behaviour or words they use or how they have viewed their "use" of me at that time. I've had to walk away, delete a message a few times or said i'll call them back, it's usually as i've hoped they've thought of their approach, changed the tone, or at times i've had to change my thoughts and reactions!
If you think you can grow as a person by doing all the looking within exercises and say to yourself "that's it i've done them, now i've grown" without letting it digest, be thought about or wanting to rush into another way of self-development, it's probably not having an effect on you and there will be little to no growth actually happening.
Personal growth does start from inside, by way of thought patterns, mindset and actually putting things into practise with actions.
One of the first things you can do for yourself is declutter and/or organise your home, as you can equate it to your mind. When i was life coaching, the first thing i would do would be to actively help someone declutter their homes (only one room or section!) and explain how our thoughts can turn dark and in on ourselves just like the clutter we have in our homes. It's surprising what an effect decluttering can have, it leaves you feeling energised, refreshed and accomplished! I recommend not holding onto things "just in case". If you have items which are too good to be thrown out, pop along to your local charity shop as they would be grateful, bigger items or when you have lots of items, a charity shop can arrange collection. Get them out as quick as you can to stop yourself from being swayed.
Work through one room at a time, clear a day so your not interrupted, make a schedule or a note in your diary and STICK TO IT.
As you clear the clutter you will find your mind clears a little as well.
Have you made plans to meet a friend, go for a walk, meditate, have a relaxing time with a hot drink sat in the garden, home improvement, DIY in fact anything! Then chose to not bother as you couldn't be bothered or not feeling upto it...isn't it awful when efforts needed...but effort will be easy and you won't feel the effort if it's something you really want to do. With an awareness of others feelings and reactions, you'll want to make an effort, you'll want to meet a friend or something with others. With an awareness of others you'll stop thinking of yourself but think of maybe, the person you are letting down by cancelling , they might have been looking forward to a different face, different topic of conversation but if you only look at your own wants....
So looking at reactions to your reactions and words are important for your own self-awareness.
It is true what they say, how you treat or speak to someone or surroundings very much says more about you than others. You'll find people make allowances but if the behaviour goes on then you notice people backing off from you or they'll conveniantly "forget about you" This is basically them putting a stop to your behaviour or treatment towards them, this is them recognising their own self worth.
When there is self-development, we start to realise and think about our words, actions and behaviours can affect and the effects. We gain foresight in respect of actions and reactions, we gain a positive mindset and thought process, seeing solutions instead of problems, we overcome obstacles instead of being stopped in our tracks.
So if your embarking on a path of self discovery, take the time to digest, open your mind to thinking outside of yourself and don't be too quick to rush into "i've done it, what can i do now?" you are a work in progress, constantly growing and flowing.
Elaine has a working class backround, and understands the trials of life. Here she shares some of her thoughts on many different topics