Meditation is a way of bringing clarity, focus and peace to your mind, but...clearing out your cupboards or home is just as effective!
Long lost belongings, clothes or keepsakes that you keep in boxes in an attic or tucked away in a drawer or cupboard can keep you attached to forgotten memories, people or times we don't want to think about for many reasons. Clearing these help to clear yourself of the attachments to these times, emotions or let go of people.
As we declutter we face our attachments with compassion we are driven by consuming emotions, these are emotions that we pour our energy into that don't give us anything back but, they consume and drain us....whether you realise it they also block you from energies such as love, joy, courage, grace, peace, generosity.
As you declutter you transform.
Time to tidy
When you decide it's time to tidy, when you feel ready to clear out the old take notice of your feelings, listen to your internal self and just sit with that feeling, have a conversation with yourself about the emotions or feelings that have been raised. When strong emotions and make you question do you have the strength to go ahead, it's time to take a break.
Decluttering is ultimately self-care and if you aren't practising self-care as you do it then it is not a self-care activity.
As you clear the clutter set your intention for each room, for example a bedroom you might intend that space for relaxation love or joy, a bathroom may be intended for rejuvenation, cleansing and purifying.
Clear the energy
In each space clear the items that don't resonate with the energies you intend for that space, for example old letters or gifts from an ex love might hold the energies of regret, resentment and a form of bitterness which will prevent the flow of love into your bedroom. Bills might make you feel anxious.
To spiritually cleanse a room we have to meet the things that are causing our spiritual energy to drain and instead intend the energy that allows our spiritual life to flourish.
So you've set the intention in your bedroom now how do you do that with clothes or your sock draw??
if you open your drawer and theres something there that makes you go urghh! it's stopping that full flow of love and balance in that room. if it's an item that is well past being well worn or well used, but you think 'i paid good money for that!' its creating a feeling of guilt which is again slowing down or stopping the flow of love and needs to be cleared.
There are items we keep like old photos, a gift a child has made or a gift from a deceased loved one like a parent, when we come across these we open up the feelings and emotions that can stop us in our tracks. These can still make us feel drained that just holding at it or looking at it makes us want to collapse, and you put it back in the drawer. This shows an attachment to that object, whether it's regret, sadness, worry or a fear. This is where compassion comes in, because its compassion as a spiritual energy that transforms suffering.
We have to learn to sit with compassion for ourselves, for the object and the story that brings those emotions forward.
Piles of regret
"That still needs doing" do you hear yourself saying this? paperwork can be a minefield to go through but can be sorted into 'guilt' 'regret' 'anxiety' piles. Old medical records from 10 years ago might bring up guilt or regret and isn't worthy of the space in your head it takes up.
You don't need to be carrying that physical, emotional and spiritual weight.
Sort the remaining papers out, this might not give you joy but it will give you access to what you need, not feeling afraid or anxious about looking into those files because you don't know if you'll find what your looking for (or what else you might find!?)
That's freedom and thats what you're aiming for. to be able to lay your hands on what we need as well as what we love.
Whether its candles, lipsticks, cookbooks or anything else, collections are likely to show your buying habits when your in psychic pain or in a difficult position emotionally.
Once you go through decluttering and see how your purchasing power has been driven by your pain, hopefully you can deals with those habits by recognising and they will change.
Spiritual decluttering is an opportunity to practise letting go of things that no longer serve us (or never did)
Letting go doesnt have to be painful, it can be an act of grace or gratitude.
Pick up an object as if it were an old friend, thank it, forgive it if it never served you then let it go.
Clutter will show up again but it will become easier to see and take care of quickly.
Like a gardener, you'll have learned the difference between weeds and cultivated plants.
Decluttering is less an activity with a start and a finish, more a way of life.
Tips for a pain-free clear out
Surrender what doesn't serve you and create more space in your heart and soul for what you need...
from bad habits to holding grudges to full blown addictions we all have burdens we could do with putting aside.
Letting go or loosening the grip on our negative emotions like fear, anger or even releasing attachment to certain people is often harder than it sounds.
We all stand in our pwn way at times by making excuses to hold on a little longer, sometimes conciously and unconciousnessly. Causing ourselves mental, physical suffering and distress not forgetting the emotional and spiritual pain.
How and why do we cling onto behaviours, feelings and people when they are holding us back? How do we release them?
The answers often lie in our early years, as our past influences us massively. Upbringing, betrayals, traumas, humiliations, neglect wounds all form our thought process which become a template in the mind. When triggered cause us to act and react .
One way offinding out what it actually is we need to let go of is recognising when we feel the need to react or act in a certain way. A way that doesn't feel right, a way that doesn't serve us in a good way, in other words a negative way maybe out of spite, jealousy, but it doesn't move us forward it only serves to hold us back. So we've caused ourselves to be stuck in the same pattern of actions and reactions.
The first step is to have a concious awareness of ourselves and this is usually where we often fall down. We automatically push away what makes us feel uncomfortable and out of our conciousness.
become aware of your habits and what you push away, work out what triggers you or maybe brings up strong emotions. Really notice if you do things repeatedly, talk about yourself in a certain way.
In the beginning don't even ask why, just acknowledge your action or reaction and that you over reacted.
keep a diary so you can see repeated patterns which you may not have even noticed, but once you identify the negative behaviours or habits that are holding you back this gives you your intent for letting go. First just let the issue be for a little while, don't fight it, push it away or instantly try to change it as this can make it worse but just be with it. The acknowledgement will allow it to move naturally without forcing it.
Then you can meditate with intention, to visit the lower levels of your subconcious or conciousness as what holds you back, resides in the lower self. " My intention is to connect to the lower world of myself to find my power place and i ask spirit to help me"
In time you can then set your intention to pin down the specific cause of issues which you want to let go.
"My intention is to visit the lower world to find the cause of my anxiety and what would overcome it"
You will most likely see your inner child at a certain age or scenes from childhood. Acknowledge the scenes you see or scenes you witnessed and talk to your inner child explaining "time has passed and the child doesn't have to hang on to pain or humiliation anymore" bringing that child back to the present with you.
Write down any issue or write a letter to your inner child then burn the paper, this way you are dealing with it in the energy mind but also manifesting letting go in the real world.
Do you live to work or work to live?
We have to do it to pay our bills, put a roof over our heads, food on the table and have a luxury like new clothes, jewellry or a holiday!
On average we work approx 40 hours per week with some professionals doing more, we have mounting pressure to keep our jobs by increasing our efforts. Work can be very stressful and actually fills the majority of our waking time.
We live to work
But...how many of us work to live and actually achieve that work~life balance?
This can be a very difficult task to undertake and accomplish.
The stress of work can actually seriously contribute to mental health and physiological conditions.
It has long been recognised by the spiritual community that the mind influences the body.
Our lifestyles are slowly killing us with stress and we are truly out of balance. There is a need to rediscover the balance and bring harmony between mond, body and soul.
Medical science has caught up and have recognised the valuable concept of 'psyche and soma' which literally means mind and body.
Over the years some philosophers have interpreted the psyche to not only mean the mind or conciousness but also the soul.
In 1964 George Freeman Solomon wrote of the 'emotions, immunity and disease' and first made aware the medical link between the immune system and emotions which studies followed.
Ancient philosophers such as Plato and Hippocrates believed a good balance between the psyche and the soma resulted in good health whilst imbalance created ill health.
So that need for balance has always been there as a belief system to some.
Pressure that some women feel to become pregnant can result in phantom pregnancies, shell shocked soldiers have developed physical illnesses that have been linked to the horrors they witnessed in battle.
Modern medical research has discovered there is a two way communication between the mind and the body.
Our thoughts create a physical response in our bodies.
By altering our breathing we can actually change the feelings of pain. In the early 1990's it was found that cancer patients who controlled their anger or grief did not recover as well as those who expressed their emotions.
Those of us who are of the spiritual nature or working in the world of spiritualism, know how emotions, specially negative ones being kept in can affect us and our abilities.
We are a being of soul and mind encased in a physical body, it's important that we take care of every aspect of this divine trinity and treat them as 'the holy three'
It begins with finding that work-life balance in our life. If we are happy in our jobs we are healthier in ourselves. If we unhappy at work we take time off then feel guilty about it which then adds to our ill health.
It has been known that at the start of an annual holiday from work, you can become sick due to the mind and body relaxing and suddenly feeling tired and drained.
if working lives do not change there is a danger of autoimmune diseases and physical conditions creeping in to become the pague of the young and old as we bow down to stress. Why? Because we are out of balance and have created a society which ignores the soul.
Symptoms of autoimmune illnesses can range from fatigue, fever, joint pain and more. These diseases happen when the bodies own immune system attacks and destroys healthy body tissue, essentially we are killing ourselves.
In times of stress; bereavement, divorce, loss of a job, our immune defences are low and we develop all types of illnesses from depression, aches, breaking out in sores to many others. The psychosomatic effects on our lives can be phenomenal.
Finding that balance between work and life is important by seeking to unite mind and body with a healthy diet and lifestyle before the effects of imbalance take their toll.
if we are to be truly healthy and completely balanced then we must also have a balanced spiritual life too. When we have faith we are strong, as we feel and know we are not alone on our journey.
Bringing the balance into emotions by releasing what is no benefit or which is holding you back, actually boosts your psychic abilities and can move you over to the mediumistic from the psychic.
What exactly is personal growth?
There are different understandings of this but it all comes down to one thing...growth of the person's awareness. That means being more aware of your surroundings and people, how you speak to people, words or phrases you use, how your actions have a reaction, how you treat others and how you speak and act towards others which is reflected by your growth. Kindness sparks kindness
If you're an impatient person who wants or expects everything NOW, that shows traits of selfishness, thoughtlessness and shows a person who seeks attention (not always the best attention, as any attention is better than none..right?) wrong...with personal growth you become more aware that the world doesnt revolve around you and at times patience is needed, thus turning the selfishness to selflessness, thoughtfulness and the good attention. It can be acheieved wien practising mindfulness. Ideally with self-development that feeling of impatience will dissipate as the awareness of how an action causes a reaction.
I've lost count of the times i've had to bite my tongue as someone has started a sentance with "I'm not being funny but..." course they're being "funny" because i havn't done things their way or how they think it should be done, but they've not looked at their behaviour or words they use or how they have viewed their "use" of me at that time. I've had to walk away, delete a message a few times or said i'll call them back, it's usually as i've hoped they've thought of their approach, changed the tone, or at times i've had to change my thoughts and reactions!
If you think you can grow as a person by doing all the looking within exercises and say to yourself "that's it i've done them, now i've grown" without letting it digest, be thought about or wanting to rush into another way of self-development, it's probably not having an effect on you and there will be little to no growth actually happening.
Personal growth does start from inside, by way of thought patterns, mindset and actually putting things into practise with actions.
One of the first things you can do for yourself is declutter and/or organise your home, as you can equate it to your mind. When i was life coaching, the first thing i would do would be to actively help someone declutter their homes (only one room or section!) and explain how our thoughts can turn dark and in on ourselves just like the clutter we have in our homes. It's surprising what an effect decluttering can have, it leaves you feeling energised, refreshed and accomplished! I recommend not holding onto things "just in case". If you have items which are too good to be thrown out, pop along to your local charity shop as they would be grateful, bigger items or when you have lots of items, a charity shop can arrange collection. Get them out as quick as you can to stop yourself from being swayed.
Work through one room at a time, clear a day so your not interrupted, make a schedule or a note in your diary and STICK TO IT.
As you clear the clutter you will find your mind clears a little as well.
Have you made plans to meet a friend, go for a walk, meditate, have a relaxing time with a hot drink sat in the garden, home improvement, DIY in fact anything! Then chose to not bother as you couldn't be bothered or not feeling upto it...isn't it awful when efforts needed...but effort will be easy and you won't feel the effort if it's something you really want to do. With an awareness of others feelings and reactions, you'll want to make an effort, you'll want to meet a friend or something with others. With an awareness of others you'll stop thinking of yourself but think of maybe, the person you are letting down by cancelling , they might have been looking forward to a different face, different topic of conversation but if you only look at your own wants....
So looking at reactions to your reactions and words are important for your own self-awareness.
It is true what they say, how you treat or speak to someone or surroundings very much says more about you than others. You'll find people make allowances but if the behaviour goes on then you notice people backing off from you or they'll conveniantly "forget about you" This is basically them putting a stop to your behaviour or treatment towards them, this is them recognising their own self worth.
When there is self-development, we start to realise and think about our words, actions and behaviours can affect and the effects. We gain foresight in respect of actions and reactions, we gain a positive mindset and thought process, seeing solutions instead of problems, we overcome obstacles instead of being stopped in our tracks.
So if your embarking on a path of self discovery, take the time to digest, open your mind to thinking outside of yourself and don't be too quick to rush into "i've done it, what can i do now?" you are a work in progress, constantly growing and flowing.
Do you struggle with the term God? Think of an old man sitting behind the pearly gates? maybe it makes you think of religion and you had enough of that at school or maybe too much of the use of the word God?
I know how you feel....I've spoke to a lot of people lately who have those thoughts and more. As i was growing up i associated the word God with religion and conformity, i'd hear people say "God is watching you" and i associated it with a "fear" which is what a lot of people do without realising. I also couldn't get my head around "him" watching but i could never see "him"
At school and still, i enjoy religious studies, learning about different religions and how a faith can unite and reunite people, all diversities but seperate beliefs, only a slight difference in some cases but a difference all the same. All have spirituality running through them, but also a dogma which a lot of us hold onto and others push it away. Which is where usually, the reluctance to accept God or even understand God comes in.
In my thoughts, i feel it's because some of us aren't ready to love ourselves or be open to our emotional side, the positive love side of us.
A man in a flowing gown has never sat with me, because how could it be a man or a human form if "God " had never been in physical form? So it didn't make sense to me, what does sit with me is this, God is an energy, a creative force that flows and as energy is never ending so is the flow of God. As energy has no boundaries unless harnessed so is God, an abundance of limitless boundaries. Because God is seen as a faith, hope and a trust, a creative force which is a positive, God is ultimately love which is the purest form of emotion.
I went through periods of not liking myself for whatever reason, i let the negative thoughts in, saw my flaws or what percieved were my flaws based on what other people had to say went on on the self sabotage and had a pity party..."why me?" "things went wrong because of something i did" and i ended up doing the "falling out with God" if there was a God why would these things happen, if there was a God why would he give me more misery, if there was a gOd why would he take people out my life, I became a negative person and envious towards other's who i percieved to have what i'd had. I was thinking with my lower self which is the jealousy, bitterness, envy and all the negative traits that are in us all and and maybe even think religion doesn't fit right, which it might not but only when you don't realise that religion is simply a belief and it can all be changed.
Thinking of God as seperate to religion for those who religion doesn't sit right , God is love which is in us all. The creative driving force which propels us on a daily basis to strive for better, be good people, be nice to our loved ones, those closest to us, but also to smile at strangers we pass in the street, think good thoughts when we hear of good deeds. This is the higher self, the God spark that fills us with love, confidence, boosts our self esteem, happiness and all the positive traits.
God is hope.
Religion is the belief in a controlling power which God is or can be for many, a trust, a way of life, a thought process.
As a child at school i had a healthy attitude to religion, for me it was unlimiting, it was one religion covered all, i'd join clubs held by different religions and i loved the mix. I'm very much the same today, i'm a spiritualist as i believe and know we live on, death doesn't end us. But i freely accept each religions and love to learn more about many religions, the different gods in religions and culture in general. I'm all for a melting pot of people, backrounds and religions. What doesn't sit well with me is when a religion rules your life and changes you, so if God is love and basically an energy we all carry, religion is a man made organisation it can only be a human that puts the dogma there and it is a physical human being setting the rules and regulations that are thrust upon us. This for me, is where the confusion happens, its actually not God we go against, its the religious rules and regulations we go against. My thoughts have always varied on this but ultimately i always come back to God is love and kindness in ourselves and when we "fall out with God" or "God doesnt sit right with me" we're actually not liking parts of ourselves or our life isn't going how we think it should.
It used to make me cringe when i heard people say the word "God" back years ago when i'd "fell out" and went through a phase that God didn't exist, i'd still go to church but would keep my head up and eyes open, when someone said "let's bow our heads and pray" i'd have my phone inside a hymn book and play a game when it came to hymns or songs and i'd mouth blah, blah, blah or just move my mouth to make it look like i was singing. These were my acts of defiance against a God that i'd fell out with. When i look back at those times, i chuckle to myself and think i must have still believed in something to be in the church in the first place, and ive went to church all my life!
My Mom would have to take me as a child because i wanted to go, then a sunday school teacher would pick me up as i grew a little older until finally i was old enough to go along with different clubs i was in...The Girls Brigade, Brownies, Girl Guides. At church youth clubs i'd always be drawn to the people who were interested in the God side of things and we'd find we'd talk to those running the clubs about God etc. I'd attend a baptist church, pentecostal, united reformed, catholic, protestant, methodist, brethren (can't remember the denomination) and would take part in regular bible studies, scripture searches and once a week would go with a few friends, to the home of one who would play guitar and his wife would sing and we'd all join in then enjoy pop and biscuits or cakes then chat about God, they were great times! One of my Sunday school teachers from my childhood, a lovely purely spiritual lady called Theresa, i visited her weekly until a few days before she passed in 2013, i'd help her in her home, i'd talk "god" and took my 2 children to visit her and she'd tell them bible stories, which they enjoyed and still remember her very fondly now. She hadn't believed in life eternal the way i do, but a week before she took ill, she told me she'd seen her beloved husband who was the pastor of the church and a lovely lovely man, she asked me if she had been dreaming but i'd assured her he was there to be with her through her illness and when the time came he would "take her home" this gave her great peace, and i was pleased she was happy to be reunited with her beloved Jimmy.
I enjoyed the coming together, the community spirit, even though i was a child and teenager but thats always carried forward with me, so GOD has always been in me which i do understand to be LOVE.
I can also recognise i've always been a positive person but have had my times of negativity and when i look back on those, i recognise those are the times ive "fell out with God" basically fell out of love with myself, not liked myself. Instead of recognising that at the time i'd blame God, because i didn't want to take the blame myself! why would i! it wasn't my fault! In reality it was my thought process and understanding that God was an almighty being who watched and saw all, he would have seen the times i "did bad" or "sad bad things" or "wished bad to others" so of course he was going to fall out with me, BUT he couldn't if i fell out with him first!
I'm not a "bible basher" nor a "religious freak" nor do i live my life by a religious rules or regulations, but i live my life as me, by me but with God by my side and within me, that is love.
The universe is energy and a greater power, a cosmic power that has it's own universal laws which are natural laws, i prefer to live my life by natural laws and the universe.
So if it helps you to understand what God is and how you can build that relationship with God, think of love and letting love in, allow yourself to let love into your heart.
It genuinely gives you a lift and puts a smile on your heart.
So let God in and watch the changes for the better within and in your life. When you hear anyone say God bless, remember they are saying be blessed with love.
A lesser known secret...
You can empower yourself by calling on one of your idols in the spirit world to help you follow your dreams.
Celebrities in the spirit world are keen to share their gifts too, act almost as a mentor to help you with your dreams, hopes and aspirations, all you have to do is ask for their help!
A few years ago i'd been wondering about it for a little while, thoughts of it would just randomly pop into my head and decided to try. I'd actually not heard about it before, so i visualised the person i was asking, i was kind of blown away and didn't quite trust if i'd saw right. But after a short while i was sat in trance in front of an audience, sure enough as the audience were saying who they could see, the name Cleopatra came out...yes i'd asked Cleopatra queen of the Nile to help in a particular way, and she had!
Give this a try and find out for yourself.
Hold a picture of the person you would like to connect to or write their name down. Gazing at the picture or their name, imagine them coming to life, take notice of the clothes they wear, how do they sound and how do they smell.
Sitting quietly, close your eyes, imagine your celebrity helper coming towards you, taking their hand when they offer it, ask for their help, be clear and detailed in how you would like their help. Take some deep breaths and visualise your celebrity helper bathing you in a golden light. You feel light, bright and ready to take on the world and move forward.
Be open to signs they will give you to let you know they're around you and helping you. This could be a few days or a few weeks, but watch and listen as signs come in the strangest of ways and unexpected places.
It's important to feed and nourish your inner self, to take time out, a breather, a rest and relaxation, to treat yourself.
There's so many people who don't realise how easy it can be. Meals or cooking for yourself can be so rewarding when you take the time to prepare and present it with love. So often we just think of the actual act of "just eat" but if it's presented nicely and its appealing to the eye it actually tastes better and we enjoy more.
As you prepare or even while shopping for your ingredients, you can visualise it nicely presented and how fulfilling and tasty it will be. It makes a difference to your dining experience. We aren't always in a position to have someone else cook for us, but it's nice when it happens!
Think of how you feel when visiting a restaurant and how mouthwateringly good your meal looks when served!
Noticing the "little" things
It doesn't have to be "big" things that make you happy, it could be making that call to a friend you've not spoke to for a while not realising how fast time flies. If you go to a park or sitting in the open air, notice how you feel. It can often make you feel "clearheaded" and lighter, you will also start to notice the colours around you starting to stand out more to you, for example sitting in a park, you'll notice the different shades in leaves and you will also notice the sounds as you sit.
As you start noticing the small things and the joy they make you feel, you'll start to become aware of more and you'll notice more too. Doing these often will build a momentum and create more joy.
Facing your fears
Take the time to sit in the quiet and call up your fears, in other words think about what you are afraid of. It may be loneliness, it may be emotional hurt or many fears. Choose to experience it fully. Cry, howl, whimper or whatever sound you want to make to allow it to come out. Ask your inner child what he/she needs, once you know..give in and allow your body to feel your own love.
Start your day in a wonderful way
Each day we have a fresh start, a new opportunity. You choose which side of the bed to get out of. The positive way is to start your day with gratitude, start with "I'm grateful that i woke up today, i'm grateful for a supercomfy, warm bed, i'm grateful for the sun shining today" you'll notice a difference the more days you follow this through.
Create a "sacred space" or "your space"
Be more receptive to subtle energies by physically clearing away clutter, opening the windows and letting fresh air blow through, this allows old stagnant air to leave. Then you can sit and visualise the area filled with peace, love, harmony or use a sage stick to waft through.
Tune in and connect to earth and source
In your cleared space, sit with your back straight so your chakras are aligned, take 3 deep breaths, set your intention to ground yourself. Visualise your own roots going down into and through the layers of the earth into the core, you can then ask Mother Earth to drain all energy that is not for your highest good and instead replace it with revitalising light and energy which will benefit your highest good to fill you.
Alternatively place your left hand on your heart, relaxing your shoulders and your arms, allowing your belly to soften. Take three slow deep breaths, each for a count of four and out for a count of four, bring your attention to your heart, noticing any physical or emotional sensations.
Its amazing how treating yourself in a kinder way can really bring peace, harmony and nourish your soul, if done regularly
For a long time i'd wonder how you manifested things into your life? i'd hear people talk about it, i'd ask about it but didn't quite understand it! I'd always hoped for what i'd wanted or worked towards what i wanted but i didn't know you could ASK the universe for what you wanted! Once i understood it, i tried it and found it actually worked, there are a few things you have to remember though. The main thing is BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR! This made me chuckle a few times. I once asked for long hair...my daughter asked me if i wanted her hair extensions :-) i thought my hair would grow faster, another time i asked for help to lose weight..leaflets fell through my door for slimming clinics :-D I just didn't understand it! It took a few (quite a few) attempts, but once i understood it, i seen it worked!
To start with, practise connecting to the universal energy and building your awareness, we often miss the signs that are guidance. When manifesting, it's important to be clear and specific, try to give the universe a helping hand by taking action yourself. I knew someone who wanted to manifest a partner but they didn't go out or like the idea of using dating sites, how was the universe supposed to help? Talk to people, tell them your dreams, visualisation is important. Ask for what you want then spend 10 minutes visualising it daily. Don't tell the universe how it's supposed to deliver your request, because there could be something better than you were expecting coming in the way they choose to deliver. This is also called cosmic ordering.
I'm a big believer in God boxes or wish jars as they work in the same way. Just use a container, i use an old coffee jar which you can decorate if you choose to. W|rite on a piece of paper (big enough to fit what you want to ask for) now be careful with your wording as it matters. A friend of mine wanted her husband to make the bed and maybe wash the dishes before he went to work, so she didn't have to when she got home, I told her about the God box and sure enough it happened. She rang me laughing as she was so surprised. When you write out your note, I use one piece for each thing i ask for, some people make lists but it's each to their own. Pop your note inside, replace the lid and pop the jar or container in a kitchen cupboard, on a shelf, in the wardrobe or somewhere out of sight. You can add to it whenever you want.
It works on the universal law of attraction
Try it out and you will see it works!
Happy ordering guys, good luck!
It can be the smallest word that's been said to you that's stuck with you, children who have been told they're stupid, worthless or worse can grow up believing it to be true, and because it's an adult that has usually told them they believe it's validated. As adults we can also believe words that's said by others, or we see someone who we deem to be better than us, due to looks or accomplishments and we judge ourselves.
Imagine being a child or adult and not having those words said to you? Imagine ignoring those words and how confident you would be feeling now?
Society has changed over the years, where we all know or have heard the benefits of being positive, giving positive affirmations and not validating the negative. I believe we are going through a phase of change in the world, which has been creeping up over quite a few years with a few more to go. I myself, made a conscious decision when i had my children that i would only give positive affirmations and not fall into the negative judgements. So when they would have, for example, spelling tests at school, and maybe the mark would be 8/10 or 9/10 and they would say "ah i only got this mark or that mark", i'd always tell them well it's left you room to improve your mark next time, or "it's better than less" but i'd always tell them they can only try their best and the important thing is the trying. If you don't try you will never know. If they ever say their stupid, i tell them "no you're not, you just havn't used your brain but you'll know better next time" I've carried out the positive affirmations throughout their life and they both have a "quiet confidence" about them that always surprises me.
Self confidence is a daily affirmation of "you can do this" "you are better than you think" " you got this" and more.
Daily affirmations of self love can be looking in the mirror once a day and, even in your mind telling yourself your a good person, you look lovely, you deserve success etc they really can change your outlook on yourself as the inner self in acknowledged and validated.
Here are a few ways you can show yourself love.
I truly hope some of these techniques work for you.
Elaine has a working class backround, and understands the trials of life. Here she shares some of her thoughts on many different topics