Surrender what doesn't serve you and create more space in your heart and soul for what you need...
from bad habits to holding grudges to full blown addictions we all have burdens we could do with putting aside.
Letting go or loosening the grip on our negative emotions like fear, anger or even releasing attachment to certain people is often harder than it sounds. 
We all stand in our pwn way at times by making excuses to hold on a little longer, sometimes conciously and unconciousnessly. Causing ourselves mental, physical suffering and distress not forgetting the emotional and spiritual pain.
 
How and why do we cling onto behaviours, feelings and people when they are holding us back? How do we release them? 
The answers often lie in our early years, as our past influences us massively. Upbringing, betrayals, traumas, humiliations, neglect wounds all form our thought process which become a template in the mind. When triggered cause us to act and react . 
One way offinding out what it actually is we need to let go of is recognising when we feel the need to react or act in a certain way. A way that doesn't feel right, a way that doesn't serve us in a good way, in other words a negative way maybe out of spite, jealousy, but it doesn't move us forward it only serves to hold us back.  So we've caused ourselves to be stuck in the same pattern of actions and reactions.

BE SELF-AWARE
The first step is to have a concious awareness of ourselves and this is usually where we often fall down. We automatically push away what makes us feel uncomfortable and out of our conciousness. 
become aware of your habits and what you push away, work out what triggers you or maybe brings up strong emotions. Really notice if you do things repeatedly, talk about yourself in a certain way. 
In the beginning don't even ask why, just acknowledge your action or reaction and that you over reacted. 
keep a diary so you can see repeated patterns which you may not have even noticed, but once you identify the negative behaviours or habits that are holding you back this gives you your intent for letting go. First just let the issue be for a little while, don't fight it, push it away or instantly try to change it as this can make it worse but just be with it. The acknowledgement will allow it to move naturally without forcing it. 
Then you can meditate with intention, to visit the lower levels of your subconcious or conciousness as what holds you back, resides in the lower self. " My intention is to connect to the lower world of myself to find my power place and i ask spirit to help me" 
In time you can then set your intention to pin down the specific cause of issues which you want to let go. 
"My intention is to visit the lower world to find the cause of my anxiety and what would overcome it"
You will most likely see your inner child at a certain age or scenes from childhood. Acknowledge the scenes you see or scenes you witnessed and talk to your inner child explaining "time has passed and the child doesn't have to hang on to pain or humiliation anymore" bringing that child back to the present with you.
Write down any issue or write a letter to your inner child then burn the paper, this way you are dealing with it in the energy mind but also manifesting letting go in the real world. 

It means different things to different people, to me it means reflecting on the not so good memories that can overwhelm us because we still carry a mixed bag of emotions. As each emotion opens or we go deeper into our memories, perhaps specific situations, times or to do with certain people and we feel the emotion, a lot of us close the door but in fact, we should be opening the door as much as we can bear and as we do, confront our emotions and allow them to come through but start to look at the not so good memory in a different way to allow the healing to take place, which then allows ourselves to rid ourselves of the hurt or pain we feel. As we contemplate or rethink our emotions we're opening up the possibilities of changing our understanding, maybe seeing things in a different way and understanding reasons, heightened emotions and others thinking and we therefore can rationalise things that decrase pain we hold. It may take a few days or longer to deal with each step forward or opening that door more, but at each step our own healing takes place to move us forward to a new understanding of our own reactions. Maybe we blame ourselves too much instead of proportioning blame or maybe we blame others instead of taking blame ourselves when in fact the reality is, once you contemplate and rethink things turning them this way and that, you might actually find there's no blame just reactions which can become distorted and we can sometimes cause our own emotional distress which we hold onto. Our minds are the strongest muscle we have and at times can cause a vicious circle of reactions which can be easy to fall into. For some people, carrying a burden or issue since childhood can start to weigh heavy as we bury it with other issues due to the original issue and so on and so on, then they get so far buried it can be so hard to uravel or they feel so worn down it can feel like too much of an effort so they don't deal with it and carry on burying. 
When opening the door to look within ourselves can be hard, a lot of people feel emotionally drained which can make us feel physically tired. It's scientifically proven our body stores emotional scars which can weigh us down and cause illnesses, I'm not saying you'll become illness free as you look within, but you will feel better and illnesses may start to relieve. 
If there are emotional issues you can't face fully, the best thing you can do is not lay blame, but forgive yourself or the situation if you can't forgive a person and accept whatever happened was your only route or way of coping at that time. 
​When a weight is lifted you feel a release and actually do feel better for it, the secret is not allowing yourself to slip back down again but keep going. 
Looking within also means looking at your flaws and weaknesses and working on those, maybe looking at yourself through someone else's eyes. We never see ourself as other's see us, have you been selfish lately, maybe too wrapped in yourself to notice what's going on with others? Have you noticed friends seeming to back off for seemingly no reason? try taking a moment to look within and look at your actions, behaviour etc 
​Spiritual growth as a person starts within.
Nearly 11 years ago i lost my husband and due to horrific accusations that i wouldn't subject anyone to, i spent a time in a suicidal, depressed state, seen councellors and everything that goes with it, cutting people off etc for a long time. Then the thoughts kept coming in and i started to reflect, turning everything round and understanding how those ex family members could make accusations, with the help of a fantastic councellor i started to look within and realised that they were trying to transfer what they had done, thought or felt guilty about over onto me to ease their own feelings but they still carry those emotions. Though i still can't forgive them i have forgiven the situation and myself and accepted my choices were the best i could make in the situation. I really did feel a weight lift from me and started to see things in a clearer way. The councellor suggested i write all my thoughts and events at that time down, which i did over a few years as i opened up the emotions. It was then suggested i turn it into a book which i have been writing or putting it into order i should say. As yet my book remains unpublished and without a title as i still continue to look within on a daily basis and add to it, also checking things legally.
I'm hoping to have it published by the end of 2019/2020. 

MOST DEFINATELY!
The difference between someone who's been developed and someone undeveloped is very significant. When your developed you will have a better understanding of how you receive communications via your psychic senses and also which senses your working with, if undeveloped you won't understand as much and you may even misunderstand and miss some of the communication or if you misunderstand you may give the total wrong information. Also if undeveloped you may mistakenly claim to be a medium when really working psychically. 
​personal development is also an integral part of becoming a "better you" or opening to spirit
So for me, development is important for mediums, psychics and all lightworkers. 

Peter Somerville, gone but not forgotten xx
​23/9/55 - 02/08/2008

My thoughts on this have differed over the years. When our loved ones pass over to the spirit side they are able to contact us straight away IF the conditions are right. If there is so much grief that we think we want to only hear certain things, when we don't get to hear what we think we want to hear or we dismiss the evidence they give, then we normally think they havn't been in touch. I've realised this is just ourselves that's closed off a bit? it's usually because it's the actual physical person we are missing and probably not in the right frame of mind to accept the physical has gone. It's hard but when we are ready for someone to pass, either we don't want to see them in pain any longer or they don't have the energy to stay and we can see it's their time. It doesn't mean we don't grieve, it means we're ready to let them go and be in peace and pain free knowing it's out of love, it's putting that person first. When my husband Peter passed, i didn't want him to obviously, the same as anyone, but i was ready and prepared for his passing and accepted nothing, no amount of praying, sending out thoughts, new treatment, meds etc was going to make that difference. I rang at 9.30pm nightly to the hospice to speak to him, say goodnight from me and our kids and tell him how much we loved him. The night he passed 2/8/2008 i'd fell asleep and missed calling him, at 1.22am i felt as though i was shook by the shoulder and i woke up, reached for the phone and something instinctively told me i wasn't going to get an answer, i felt the love from him and heard him say "I love you and the kids, tell them and look after them" . He'd came to me as he took his transition, he passed at 1.25am..my kids obviously took it really hard and i had to be strong for them, the most heartbreaking thing in my life was to tell my kids their dad had passed and they wouldn't  be able to see him, touch him or talk to him again, but he left signs all over for them. My daughter would wake up to find feathers on her pillow (not feather pillows) in her books, amongst toys and special songs would play, my son would get feathers or he'd want to go somewhere and miraculously he'd get opportunities and he'd smell his dad too. It's nearly 11 years and he still gives us signs he's about. Our loved ones are always drawn where there's love and there's lots here for him! 
On the other side of things, i've known people lose someone and want them through so much,it's took a long time in some cases years for them to know they've been through but hadn't been ready to accept them as the grief has been so overwhelming and they've not been ready to let go. 
Before you think letting go means forgetting someone, it definately doesn't, it simply means your ready to let go of the hurt. Grief is love with nowhere to go, it comes out in tears and many ways. And grief definately comes in stages, not many people like to admit but anger at the person that passed is one of the stages, and how you overcome it depends on yourself.