Elaine has a working class backround, and understands the trials of life. Here she shares some of her thoughts on many different topics
Back to Blog
Lately i've been thinking about crying, why do we cry? what is the difference in tears of laughter and tears of sadness? what does crying do for us? where do the tears come from? I've meditated on this and thought about this and came back to the same answer...crying is a release of emotions.
Grieving for a loved one causes us to hold emotions in, we try to be strong for others and ourselves. We still feel the need to emotionally collapse but usually we don't give in to it as much as we should.
Crying with grief is a release of the love we have inside for the person we lost. It can be a deep racking sobbing, coupled with a feeling of helplessness and a feeling of emptiness and its a natural process. To some it can release the feelings we have of, have we done enough, what if, if only...as we cry we're letting these feeling go, for some it takes time for others it can be a quick process. But it's a natural emotion. Sometimes it you can actually feel the release, as a lighter feeling grows in your chest or as a weight leaves you. This can happen if you've realised the loved one has had enough, it's best for them or you have accepted the ineviteable. It's the ones left behind who feel the loss most.
Crying over a relationship, is like a grief, its mourning a loss, an ending. It all depends on how much love was there at the time of the end or break up, some people know when it's over but sometimes stay in that relationship a little bit longer. When that happens you might find there's very few tears if any. Some feel a sense of relief even. Sometimes when a relationship is over, you might not be crying for that person, it could be the extended relationships which have built, the bonds and the ties that you feel you lose.
Crying in pain or when we hurt ourselves is really to soothe ourselves, feeling sorry for ourselves, and you'll find as the pain of hurting ourselves goes, so does the crying.
Emotional crying for seemingly no reason can happen when we feel out of balance, losing control, out of sync with life in general, and sometimes can have a domino effect, we look for the reasons why, we look to sometimes blame other things and sometimes it can be situations or others that can cause this crying, its the cause and effect reaction.
So crying in general when it's to do with any kind of pain, whether a loss, an ending or actual pain is for soothing ourselves emotionally. And emotions are all from within. Hopelessness, abondonment, loneliness can all be rolled together. It's our body's own natural painkiller
Crying with joy or happiness can happen out of the blue too, if we've really looked forward to an event, meeting someone we havn't seen for sometime, can cause feelings of excitement and it can be overwhelming and we cry. We cry at jokes when we laugh. If you think, when we go through bouts of crying with sadness, there's almost always something that will pick us up and make us smile or laugh and there'll be a tear or two that come with that. We can be sad or feeling tearful and someone will say "cheer up" or try in their way to make us laugh or at least smile. This is a form of "cleansing" a carthartic or purging of the emotions.
Crying is good for us as it cleanses the emotions. If you have had a bad day, emotionally and feel stressed, a good cry at the end of the day is one of the ways the body cleanses and purges itself to pick itself and emotions up again.
Back to Blog
Back to Blog
It can be the smallest word that's been said to you that's stuck with you, children who have been told they're stupid, worthless or worse can grow up believing it to be true, and because it's an adult that has usually told them they believe it's validated. As adults we can also believe words that's said by others, or we see someone who we deem to be better than us, due to looks or accomplishments and we judge ourselves.
Imagine being a child or adult and not having those words said to you? Imagine ignoring those words and how confident you would be feeling now?
Society has changed over the years, where we all know or have heard the benefits of being positive, giving positive affirmations and not validating the negative. I believe we are going through a phase of change in the world, which has been creeping up over quite a few years with a few more to go. I myself, made a conscious decision when i had my children that i would only give positive affirmations and not fall into the negative judgements. So when they would have, for example, spelling tests at school, and maybe the mark would be 8/10 or 9/10 and they would say "ah i only got this mark or that mark", i'd always tell them well it's left you room to improve your mark next time, or "it's better than less" but i'd always tell them they can only try their best and the important thing is the trying. If you don't try you will never know. If they ever say their stupid, i tell them "no you're not, you just havn't used your brain but you'll know better next time" I've carried out the positive affirmations throughout their life and they both have a "quiet confidence" about them that always surprises me.
Self confidence is a daily affirmation of "you can do this" "you are better than you think" " you got this" and more.
Daily affirmations of self love can be looking in the mirror once a day and, even in your mind telling yourself your a good person, you look lovely, you deserve success etc they really can change your outlook on yourself as the inner self in acknowledged and validated.
Here are a few ways you can show yourself love.
I truly hope some of these techniques work for you.
Back to Blog
No...everyone is different and depending what you have going on in your life or if you havn't accepted or the reality of the loss hasn't sunk in, they can have an effect.
Everyone we meet has an impact on us good and bad. When we lose someone who has been a constant in our lives or been a massive influence on us. Sometimes it can be someone who has been in our lives a short time, who can make that lasting impression that it may hurt the most.
For example...a parent or a sibling, who we've been close to for many years, then maybe a disagreement even moving away and just the distance becoming greater, where both sides don't make an effort. A friend or lover who you've been so close to, spent all your time with maybe married or had plans for the future, then a drifting apart..maybe years in some cases. Some of us hear of them passing and really struggle to get over the loss, but is it their loss we struggle with or is it our own feelings of a guilt? Guilt we feel for losing touch, not making an effort as we expected those to? Resentment towards that person for not making an effort as you had hoped or expected? Also the memories come flooding back, of the good times and how much of an impression they were on you. All of these are factors in grief. If you lose someone that you spent a lot of time with, very close to and who were a constant in your life, that hurt will seem to hurt more as they were part of your life there and then! And that is a hurt like no other as that loss is actually happening to you, whereas someone you've drifted apart from, whether by a fall out or just by these things happen, in a sense that loss has already happened and the moving on has taken place naturally.
Losing someone close, is heart wrenching and can take a long time to grieve, memories always come back in many ways.
For me, and for many others im sure, it can hit me when i'm walking along a street and it suddenly hits me that i'm walking along a street that a loved one walked down. Eating a particular food or cooking a certain dish and it hits me how i know how to cook that dish...i've watched a loved one cook it, then it hits me all over again that their influence is still there and ongoing. It hits me how much of an influence they've had on me which i've then passed on to my children. So the generations do cross and i really marvel at that.
It's the same when i hear about someone that i've maybe not seen for a long time for whatever reason, like i said previously, i do feel regret but i also feel the love that was once there and again memories come back, sometimes memories that have long been forgotten.
Rekindle old friendships, family ties and let go of the wounds that have kept you apart. Make the time as that's what we all have in common, we all want more time with those we love.
Back to Blog
Courage is a word i don't think about that often...lately i've had that word going round in my mind a lot, which led me to thinking..
How many times do we recognise our own courage? not a lot! but we've all got courage and it shows itself in many ways. Courage can be something that might seem trivial to many but is a massive thing to others. I'm going to share my thoughts on what ive thought lately about "courage"..
For a lot of people, waking up in the morning is just the "norm" but if you think about it, this can be a very courageous thing for someone that doesn't want to be here anymore, whether thats been caused by illness, mental health or just how they've seen their life at that time and thought life would be better off without them. They've decided to make that choice of waking up and facing another day.
There are lots of times we would all like to sit back and let life pass us by, not take care of "routine", housework, deadlines, caring for others, finance's, and some people do sit back and let things pile up, BUT then they gain the courage by whichever way, to decide to pick themselves up and they find the courage to battle through whatever is pulling or holding them back.
You hear of people who have took that "leap of faith" and changed their life completely by moving to a different country, changing their careers or even changing their life path because it felt the right thing to do, it felt right or sometimes because of a life threatening health reason people have chose to have a better life or be a better person...it all took courage to take that "leap of faith".
Each choice we make takes courage, in 2015 i took a leap of faith and chose to become a full time medium. At the time i was working in the care sector, regular income, regular set hours, fellow workers i could rely on in a job i loved, but due to health issues i couldn't do that work in a reliable manner and was put in a position to either move to a job i could do or not work. I thought things through over a few months and the only thing that felt right to me, was something that i'd been doing outside of my working life, something i loved and still love doing, what i feel is my calling....MEDIUMSHIP! I spoke to my kids, my daughter said "Mom if it's what you want to do, then go for it! My son said "How will you pay bills? You're making a mistake! It's not a job it's just something you do! He even said at one point.."You've lost the plot!" I still spent a little time thinking it through, trying to weigh up my options and decided i didn't want to spend the rest of my life creating more wear and tear on my body, being tied to other people's routine's etc and realised i lived to work, my working life was leading my personal life and what i could and couldn't do, due to work hours which led to, yes, a regular income but an income that would only change by a few pence to a couple of pounds a year. I realised if i became a full time medium it would be more hours (much more haha) for possibly less money but i had the choice of more variation, though i only have myself to rely on and it's all good. I can honestly say, having the courage to make that decision, was one of the best ive made.
I'm not suggesting that anyone should make a life changing decision, what i am saying, is, when you reflect back over the past week, month, year or your life at decisions you've made willingly and knowingly and sometimes decisions you've been in a position that you had to, acknowledge the courage you have inside yourself, acknowledge that something you may not see as having courage, even what may seem as minor things like making an effort with yourself, all take courage, the courage to make a decision.
So "courage was going round and round in my head, i thought it through and for me, courage comes with decisions that some of us take for granted and others find hard, courage is in all of us and how we show courage is sometimes not seen by others but recognised by ourselves. Courage isn't always dangerous pastimes like lion taming, mountain climbing
(though i might add, those that do lion taming etc are extremely courageous!)
Courage for a lot of people, can be simply having the courage to get through each day.
If you would like to add your thoughts, be brave and have the courage to make a comment
Back to Blog
There's a fine line between being confident and being overly confident.
I suffered with a lack of confidence when i was younger, i thought other's knew better, who was interested in what i had to say, took more notice of other people's achievements and measured myself up against them. Even silly things like people might like me more if i had curlier hair, my smile was different, i wore different clothes, even thought if my parents decorated the house in a different colour or style, the list goes on and on. Those things were a big thing to me when i was younger in my early teens, and my self esteem was low, even though my parents owned their own home, i wanted for nothing within reason, I still felt i didn't match up to others and my expectations of myself were high and when i failed, my confidence and esteem would slide further down. I tried many things over the years and couldn't see my successes, i'd had a saturday job at 14, went straight into full time work, had a good circle of friends, parents that loved me and a nice home.
Every now and again i'd tell myself it only mattered to me how i was, i didn't realise i was the only one bothered by me "thoughts" and "how i should be"
It took me a long time to realise that, as i picked myself up trying to better myself, people around me seemed to change and pull away. I didn't realise like drew like, so when i was feeling negative about myself i'd be attracting people with the same thoughts and as i tried to better myself i was always pulling myself back over as it felt comfortable. I had family members say i'd changed and i wasn't their sort anymore, i was fine with that and still am, as i've found there's always a positive outcome for everyone involved when there's a break.
From a young age, i read magazine's, watched tv shows and read books on confidence and esteem, i've found through trial and error that not everything will work for everyone, but here's some tips that do work
I Hope these tips help you if you struggle with low self esteem or lack of confidence.
I welcome any comments or feedback and be grateful if you could share to help others.
Back to Blog
A rainbow appears shortly after a storm, rainbow babies are healthy babies born shortly after a miscarriage, stillbirth or a loss of a baby. Something beautiful coming out of something not so good, symbolizing hope.
Rainbow babies are sometimes called miracle babies, because they bring a lot of healing to parents after a recent loss but also some guilt before the healing takes place.
All babies are blessings and losing a baby can cause a lot of upset, depending on a few factors like, length of pregnancy, if you know you're actually pregnant or not etc. How a woman deals with her emotions at that time can be hard. It's important to grieve and allow the loss to process in your mind as you might find it's harder to feel the excitement a new baby brings
Back to Blog
I've been regressed twice and both times helped me immensely, these are my thoughts on it.
I was regressed as i thought it might help me understand myself and it did. Whether i've actually lived those 2 lives or because i'm human and my brain has tried to make sense in a way i would understand i really don't know.
I do know from regression i understood myself more than i did before, and in some ways helped with my mediumship as i understood myself, for example, i could understand the reasons behind my thinking, see why illnesses appear, understand why i am how i am and who i am.
It did release a lot of emotions and the first time i was regressed i did cry throughout the experience but felt better afterwards.
You should never go through a passing in regression and to me, whether thats an actual past life passing or again, my brain making sense of a traumatic experience without me actually remembering that experience i don't know.
The 2 people that regressed me were for me amazing and i could definately say there was no planting seeds in my mind or suggestive thoughts that might have led me to think or feel the way i did, they asked questions like "what year is it" "what clothes was i wearing" , "did i work" and "did i recognise the area" etc and questions along those lines, so nothing that could lead me. In the first regression i was a male in Kentucky in the mid 1800's (I've never been to Kentucky or America), in the second regression again i was a male in London's east end in the late 1800's (i've been to London once, for 2 days to windsor castle and the millenium dome, so definately not the east end of London)
It does involve a hypnosis, which not everyone can be hypnotised, but if you are going to be regressed look into it carefully as there are a lot of people that say it takes hours and many times, but in my opinion it doesn't, it takes approx 20/30 mins as you can't stay "under" for too long, and don't let anyone feed you seeds of suggestions let your own thoughts come through.
Back to Blog
It means different things to different people, to me it means reflecting on the not so good memories that can overwhelm us because we still carry a mixed bag of emotions. As each emotion opens or we go deeper into our memories, perhaps specific situations, times or to do with certain people and we feel the emotion, a lot of us close the door but in fact, we should be opening the door as much as we can bear and as we do, confront our emotions and allow them to come through but start to look at the not so good memory in a different way to allow the healing to take place, which then allows ourselves to rid ourselves of the hurt or pain we feel. As we contemplate or rethink our emotions we're opening up the possibilities of changing our understanding, maybe seeing things in a different way and understanding reasons, heightened emotions and others thinking and we therefore can rationalise things that decrase pain we hold. It may take a few days or longer to deal with each step forward or opening that door more, but at each step our own healing takes place to move us forward to a new understanding of our own reactions. Maybe we blame ourselves too much instead of proportioning blame or maybe we blame others instead of taking blame ourselves when in fact the reality is, once you contemplate and rethink things turning them this way and that, you might actually find there's no blame just reactions which can become distorted and we can sometimes cause our own emotional distress which we hold onto. Our minds are the strongest muscle we have and at times can cause a vicious circle of reactions which can be easy to fall into. For some people, carrying a burden or issue since childhood can start to weigh heavy as we bury it with other issues due to the original issue and so on and so on, then they get so far buried it can be so hard to uravel or they feel so worn down it can feel like too much of an effort so they don't deal with it and carry on burying.
When opening the door to look within ourselves can be hard, a lot of people feel emotionally drained which can make us feel physically tired. It's scientifically proven our body stores emotional scars which can weigh us down and cause illnesses, I'm not saying you'll become illness free as you look within, but you will feel better and illnesses may start to relieve.
If there are emotional issues you can't face fully, the best thing you can do is not lay blame, but forgive yourself or the situation if you can't forgive a person and accept whatever happened was your only route or way of coping at that time.
When a weight is lifted you feel a release and actually do feel better for it, the secret is not allowing yourself to slip back down again but keep going.
Looking within also means looking at your flaws and weaknesses and working on those, maybe looking at yourself through someone else's eyes. We never see ourself as other's see us, have you been selfish lately, maybe too wrapped in yourself to notice what's going on with others? Have you noticed friends seeming to back off for seemingly no reason? try taking a moment to look within and look at your actions, behaviour etc
Spiritual growth as a person starts within.
Nearly 11 years ago i lost my husband and due to horrific accusations that i wouldn't subject anyone to, i spent a time in a suicidal, depressed state, seen councellors and everything that goes with it, cutting people off etc for a long time. Then the thoughts kept coming in and i started to reflect, turning everything round and understanding how those ex family members could make accusations, with the help of a fantastic councellor i started to look within and realised that they were trying to transfer what they had done, thought or felt guilty about over onto me to ease their own feelings but they still carry those emotions. Though i still can't forgive them i have forgiven the situation and myself and accepted my choices were the best i could make in the situation. I really did feel a weight lift from me and started to see things in a clearer way. The councellor suggested i write all my thoughts and events at that time down, which i did over a few years as i opened up the emotions. It was then suggested i turn it into a book which i have been writing or putting it into order i should say. As yet my book remains unpublished and without a title as i still continue to look within on a daily basis and add to it, also checking things legally.
I'm hoping to have it published by the end of 2019/2020.
Back to Blog
The difference between someone who's been developed and someone undeveloped is very significant. When your developed you will have a better understanding of how you receive communications via your psychic senses and also which senses your working with, if undeveloped you won't understand as much and you may even misunderstand and miss some of the communication or if you misunderstand you may give the total wrong information. Also if undeveloped you may mistakenly claim to be a medium when really working psychically.
personal development is also an integral part of becoming a "better you" or opening to spirit
So for me, development is important for mediums, psychics and all lightworkers.