We all want to hear from one specific person at times, and as a medium i can't guarantee who i will connect to. 
Whether you realise it or not your loved ones come in many ways that you forget, don't want to know or they aren't giving the information you want to hear. When that happens it can be for a few different reasons; it can be grief, for yourself and those you lose. It's natural to close off emotionally at times and grief can cause that to happen too. We also close off in our minds where we only focus on certain things, or we only remember certain times or things. 
Mediums can't cross the T's or dot the I's.
Sometimes a loved one will come with another, and if your focussed on one person you'll miss the presence of another. If your thinking you only want to hear x, y and z they could be bringing a, b and c as we can't demand what they want to say neither should a medium be just saying what you want to hear. if that happens you won't be getting the true essence of the person and ignoring the spirit person, and eventually they'll leave and the connection is lost.

Best thing to do in a reading or any connection is to relax, allow spirit loved ones to bring their evidence and guidance as they know what they want to say or what guidance is needed. 

What exactly is personal growth?
​
There are different understandings of this but it all comes down to one thing...growth of the person's awareness.  That means being more aware of your surroundings and people, how you speak to people, words or phrases you use,  how your actions have a reaction, how you treat others and how you speak and act towards others which is reflected by your growth. Kindness sparks kindness
An example...
If you're an impatient person who wants or expects everything NOW, that shows traits of selfishness, thoughtlessness and shows a person who seeks attention (not always the best attention, as any attention is better than none..right?) wrong...with personal growth you become more aware that the world doesnt revolve around you and at times patience is needed, thus turning the selfishness to selflessness, thoughtfulness and the good attention. It can be acheieved wien practising mindfulness.  Ideally with self-development that feeling of impatience will dissipate as the awareness of how an action causes a reaction. 

I've lost count of the times i've had to bite my tongue as someone has started a sentance with "I'm not being funny but..." course they're being "funny" because i havn't done things their way or how they think it should be done, but they've not looked at their behaviour or words they use or how they have viewed their "use" of me at that time. I've had to walk away, delete a message a few times or said i'll call them back, it's usually as i've hoped they've thought of their approach, changed the tone, or at times i've had to change my thoughts and reactions! 
If you think you can grow as a person by doing all the looking within exercises and say to yourself "that's it i've done them, now i've grown" without letting it digest, be thought about or wanting to rush into another way of self-development, it's probably not having an effect on you and there will be little to no growth actually happening. 
Personal growth does start from inside, by way of thought patterns, mindset and actually putting things into practise with actions.
One of the first things you can do for yourself is declutter and/or organise your home, as you can equate it to your mind. When i was life coaching, the first thing i would do would be to actively help someone declutter their homes (only one room or section!)  and explain how our thoughts can turn dark and in on ourselves just like the clutter we have in our homes. It's surprising what an effect decluttering can have, it leaves you feeling energised, refreshed and accomplished! I recommend not holding onto things "just in case". If you have items which are too good to be thrown out, pop along to your local charity shop as they would be grateful, bigger items or when you have lots of items, a charity shop can arrange collection. Get them out as quick as you can to stop yourself from being swayed. 
Work through one room at a time, clear a day so your not interrupted, make a schedule or a note in your diary and STICK TO IT.
As you clear the clutter you will find your mind clears a little as well.
​

Have you made plans to meet a friend, go for a walk, meditate, have a relaxing time with a hot drink sat in the garden, home improvement, DIY in fact anything! Then chose to not bother as you couldn't be bothered or not feeling upto it...isn't it awful when efforts needed...but effort will be easy and you won't feel the effort if it's something you really want to do. With an awareness of others feelings and reactions, you'll want to make an effort, you'll want to meet a friend or something with others.  With an awareness of others you'll stop thinking of yourself but think of maybe, the person you are letting down by cancelling , they might have been looking forward to a different face, different topic of conversation but if you only look at your own wants....
So looking at reactions to your reactions and words are important for your own self-awareness.
It is true what they say, how you treat or speak to someone or surroundings very much says more about you than others.  You'll find people make allowances but if the behaviour goes on then you notice people backing off from you or they'll conveniantly "forget about you" This is basically them putting a stop to your behaviour or treatment towards them, this is them recognising their own self worth. 
When there is self-development, we start to realise and think about our words, actions and behaviours can affect and the effects. We gain foresight in respect of actions and reactions, we gain a positive mindset and thought process, seeing solutions instead of problems, we overcome obstacles instead of being stopped in our tracks.

So if your embarking on a path of self discovery, take the time to digest, open your mind to thinking outside of yourself and don't be too quick to rush into "i've done it, what can i do now?"  you are a work in progress, constantly growing and flowing. 

Do we always feel love or see it when it hits us in the face? How many times have you only noticed when it doesn't seem to be there?
Here are a few words i was inspired to write about love being like water...
Love pours out or can dry up, it can shape, mould and define us. How many times through our lives do we change things when we feel we're stagnating? It can be something we love doing, people we love the company of or in relationships.
Water is the same, water can become stale or stagnant  and what do we do then? Some people add more water to refresh and add a bit  more body  or life to it, some people change the water completely not giving the stale stagnating a chance...love is the same. in relationships, whether a romantic, friend or yourself relationship, we can feel stale or stagnant if we don't see it going anywhere, some people put effort into the love they share or freshen it up by taking time to share with others, and some people end relationships cutting everything off...very much like water.
When love flows we feel happy, it's not challenging, its not negative but it's peaceful when everything goes smooth....
water flows down a river and an ocean is so inviting when the weather's calm and the sun is shining, everything is peaceful and tranquil. When the weather changes and there's a storm or rocks in a river, water crashes and bangs and is rough through a storm, anyone out in boats or out beside the water pray and hope the storm passes and they make it through. 
Love is the same, there's hard times and experiences we all go through that can challenge us and try to break us.  
We do the same as those out in water at rough times, we hope and pray to get through it and learn from that experience, just like on the water they prepare better for the next time.
Love should be unconditional and always there, maybe not always be able to see it but we might hear it in kind words or actions. Just like love, water is always there, whether you know it or not. Walk along any street or town centre and you might think your miles from water but...water runs through pipes under the sidewalks and walkways....
Sometimes we are surprised by where we are shown love. You might not feel it or see it, but it might be just one smile from someone or a selfless act someone will do for you and you feel a glimmer of something but you can't put a finger on it. 
How many of us have gone through times when we felt totally abandoned by love and left feeling empty, devoid of any feelings of love wondering when it's going to come along again? when will someone show love by saying or doing something nice?
It's like being in a desert, no signs of water
When the conditions are right, we get further through that hard time and we are ready...we see love has been there all the time.
So what is love? 
​It's always there, unseen, unheard but always in the background.

  You might be surprised of the purpose of crystals or what properties they hold, read on....
Clear Quartz ~ Throughout history, clear quartz has been highly regarded by nearly every civilization, as far back as Atlantis and Lemuria where the suns power was believed to be harnessed through a crystal as a source of solar energy. Scots, Romans, Aztecs, ancient Egyptians, African tribes, Native American Indians and many other cultures used crystal quartz in healing, meditations and spiritual development. It is a master healer and can be used for any condition. Can help to stimulate the immune and circulation system, help to increase energy flow and bring the body into balance. Used for headaches, migraines, vertigo, dizziness and motion sickness, it's also believed to help the metabolism and exhaustion. 
Clear quartz acts as a deep soul cleanser, purifying and enhancing the body's internal structure and surrounding subtle energy bodies connecting the physical dimension of the mind. 
It also amplifies healing properties of any crystal, the most versatile crystal in the mineral kingdom for healing, meditation, opening the conciousness, communication with guides, past life memory, attracting love or prosperity basically any purpose.
Amethyst ~ Amethyst is known for its ability to still the mind. It's high frequency purifies the aura of any negative energy or attachments and creates a protective shield of light around the body, allowing you to remain clear and centered. Stimulating the third eye, crown and etheric chakras enhancing cognitive perception as well as accelerating the development of intuitive and psychic ability. It can initiate wisdom and greater understanding and is the stone of comfort to those grieving the loss of a loved one. Often call the "all healer" amethyst is one of the most effective crystals for healing people, animal and plants. Amethyst protects against psychic attack, paranormal harm or ill,- wishing and returns the energy back to the universe after being transformed into positive, loving energy. 
Sometimes called "natures tranquiliser" Amethyst calms and soothes, assisting the transmissions of signals through the brain. It relieves obsessive-compulsive disorders and hyperactivity in children and animals. It is especially effective for childrens recurring nightmares and a fear of the dark.
Blue Tiger Eye ~ also called Hawk's Eye, is a very soothing stone as it aids in reducing stress, increasing calm and easing anxiety. Blue Tiger Eye helps to open, clear and align the mind to the higher chakras, which will assist in speaking  with clarity and acting from a place of integrity. Blue Tiger Eye is also a very protective and grounding stone. This crystal works very well with the throat and third eye chakras, providing insight into internal conflicts and emotional or mental issues, bringing a "go with the flow" attitude, aiding in relief from fears and phobias. Blue Tiger Eye also balances the Yin/Yang energies and increases all forms of psychic abilities, especially clairvoyance, astral travel and remote viewing. Physically Blue Tiger Eye encourages emotional balance, aids with fatigue and depression and is also helpful with stomach issues and crohns disease. On a metabolic level, this crystal can also alleviate eye problems.
Unakite ~ This crystal balances the emotional and spiritual bodies and provides gentle release of energetic blockages. It helps us move on from outdated beliefs from the past. Unakite is also used for help with past life regression therapy and facilitates the understanding of previous events and their roles in the current incarnation. A stone of vision, Unakite can open and activate the third eye to recieve spiritual insights from guides and the higher realms. Unakite's grounding effect can bring a very calming influence to any environment and is great for the workplace or home sending out peaceful, positive vibes to all those nearby. Physically Unakite can also protect against electromagnetic pollution from computers or mobile/cell phones. This crystal is also used for recovery from trauma or major illnesses, helping cells "remember" the state of perfect health, thus helping to promote renewal of cells too.
Red Tiger Eye ~ Red Tiger Eye connects you to your physical self, inner strength, courage and health. This crystal is known as a grounding stone, it can also aid clear perception, and its energy properties can help when going through hardships. It also helps to boost confidence, vitality and balance.
Carnelian ~ The crystal associated with fun, happiness and joy. Connecting you to your emotional self, enabling intimate feelings and ease in relationships. It can aid in removing inhibitions and strengthens your zest for life. Used widely in auric healing as it can help restore and broken links between the physical and spiritual body. Helping you enjoy and revitalise the power of now!
Citrine ~ Citrine helps you to connect to your "self", helping to improve clarity of thought, focus, learning, self-esteem, mental fatigue and memory. This crystal is also an ideal crystal to help people find their true path in life as it promotes the connection between the concious and sub-concious minds, optimism and life happiness. Citrine is also know for uplifting people's spirits and can be ideal for in the workplace or in front of a computer or home.
Aventurine ~ Aventurine connects you to unconditional love, helping to bring you good health, well being, harmony and balance. Also known for its properties which help with forgiveness, sincerity and compassion. It can be used to cleanse your energy giving you that feeling of peace, balance and renewal. Aventurine is said to purify and strengthen the body, mind and spirit. It also symbolizes prosperity, abundance and wealth and can help attract money and financial security.
Sodalite ~ A crystal with stress reducing properties. This crystal helps with throat problems, public speaking confidence or situations you need to speak up.  Sodalite connects us to the universal truth, wisdom, aiding communication, speech and healing. Ideal for reducing tension and aids the hormonal system. Sodalite is useful for nervous or anxiety as it's properties can help balance the mind. 
Amazonite ~ Amazonite is a crystal which assists in universal love, (what you give out you recieve back) It balances your male/feminine energies, the Yin/Yang and so helps you see both sides of a problem and different points of view. It can also soothe emotional trauma, worry, doubt and fear. This stone is often used to dispel negative energy protecting against electromagnetic pollution and absorbs microwaves
Hematite ~ Another grounding crystal, it also connects you to the earth balancing out your Yin/Yang energies for body, mind and spirit balance, uniting you to your true spirit self. Hematite is also noted for its protective shield lessening the absorption of negative energies.
Pink Rose Quartz ~ Pink Rose Quartz opens the heart to the beauty within and all around us. It's nurturing energy helps to reduce fear, anger, resentment by enhancing all forms of love, including self-love and forgiveness. Rose Quartz is a good crystal for dealing with issues on an emotional level and aids in releasing traumas. It also helps boost your esteem and self-worth. It is believed washing your face in water charged with Rose Quartz can help fade wrinkles and keeping a piece under the pillow can add more sparkle into a relationship.
Black Tourmaline ~ A very powerful crystal, as it releases negative energies and far infrared radiation - these are beneficial for health. This incredible stone is associated with protection, grounding, health, happiness, luck and positivity. Black Tourmaline has been used since ancient times by shamens and healers for protection, it is considered by many to be the most powerful protective stone and it is one of the only stones that protects and heals on all levels, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. 
Some of it's many incredible benefits

1. protects from negative energies, including thoughts transmuting them into positive energies.
2. recieves the negative energy or psychic attack and transputes it back to sender
3. shields from harmful electromagnetic radiation, from tv's, computers and mobile/cell phones by emitting a small electric current
4. strengthens immunity
5. relieves stress and anxiety
6. promotes detoxification aiding with addictions
7. increases alertness
8. supports healing for internal organs
9. eliminates toxic heavy metals
10. helps circulation
11. improves metabolism
12. improves self confidence
13. grounding energies
14. balances and clears chakras and the aura

Truly a stone that will benefit everyone, as we are in constant contact with other people and their energies, especially in the workplace and the protective properties of Black Tourmaline does wonders in keeping you balanced, grounded and is so effective at absorbing negative energy therefore should be cleared more often than other crystals. Black Tourmaline should always be worn on the left side of the body, this is because energies enter the aura through the left side. 
Jade ~ A crystal symbolizing purity and serenity, signifying wisdom gathered within tranquility making an ideal crystal to meditate with. Associated with the heart chakra encourages an increase in love and nurturing. It is a protective stone believed to keep the wearer from harm, drawing in good luck and friendship. jade also releases negative thoughts as it soothes the mind. Jade removes toxins, can aid in healing stitches, promotes rebinding or the coming back together of the skeletol and cell systems, it also has properties which help with fertility and childbirth.
Green jade calms the nervous system and can be used to bring harmony into dysfunctional relationships.
Cacoxenite ~ a mineral stone of ascension, used by many during the myriad of planetary alignments, world meditations and during the full and new moons. Also used in order to increase spiritual awareness on all levels, to transfer healing to the earth and to provide a loving and ethereal connection between all of the universe. It can also help reawaken memories of a past life. 
Its properties are ideal also for use in holistic therapies as it allows you to recognise all of the relationships between each integral part of the body, mind, spirit and emotions.
Lepidocrocite ~ Grounding with intellectual stimulation, strengthening the structures of enhanced equilibrium between all energy centres in the body and auric bodies.  Used alongside quartz and amethyst it can enhance perception, intuition, and instinct. The crystal energy is integrated with healing, memory and storing information, communication and teaching or giving guidance to others.  It can also act as a bridge between the conciousness and the practical, bringing practicality to your insight and powers of manifestation. It has also been used to enhance communication with the angelic realm, to advance astral travel and to maintain the connection between the self and astral body.
Smoky Quartz ~  Smoky quartz helps to relieve barriers mentally, clear the channel in the mind which promotes problem solving. This crystal has prolonged energy, but intense and gentle on the higher levels such as meditation. It tends to refine your vibrations whilst in a meditative state of mind, allowing the clarity of thought and allowing the willfulness to ignore what is right for you to eleviate. It can be used for a powerful forcefield, which will absorb many forms of negativity, both from within and outside the mind. It is an excellent grounding stone with a calming effect.

There are many more crystals and stones that have properties that can hold a purpose at different times, whichever feels right for you.
When purchasing crystals, i've found what works for me is to hold each one seperately just for a moment, this helps to feel the energy in the crystal and if it "sits with me" 
When meditating with crystals i also, feel the different crystals to "feel" the energy i'm drawn to sit with, a different crystal usually every time and sometimes i find i will use one crystal with another.
Crystals have many properties, so try them and fell the difference 

Do you struggle with the term God? Think of an old man sitting behind the pearly gates? maybe it makes you think of religion and you had enough of that at school or maybe too much of the use of the word God? 
I know how you feel....I've spoke to a lot of people lately who have those thoughts and more. As i was growing up i associated the word God with religion and conformity, i'd hear people say "God is watching you" and i associated it with a "fear" which is what a lot of people do without realising. I also couldn't get my head around "him" watching but i could never see "him" 
At school and still, i enjoy religious studies, learning about different religions and how a faith can unite and reunite people, all diversities but seperate beliefs, only a slight difference in some cases but a difference all the same. All have spirituality running through them, but also a dogma which a lot of us hold onto and others push it away. Which is where usually, the reluctance to accept God or even understand God comes in. 
In my thoughts, i feel it's because some of us aren't ready to love ourselves or be open to our emotional side, the positive love side of us.
A man in a flowing gown has never sat with me, because how could it be a man or a human form if "God " had never been in physical form? So it didn't make sense to me, what does sit with me is this, God is an energy, a creative force that flows and as energy is never ending so is the flow of God. As energy has no boundaries unless harnessed so is God, an abundance of limitless boundaries. Because God is seen as a faith, hope and a trust, a creative force which is a positive, God is ultimately love which is the purest form of emotion. 
I went through periods of not liking myself for whatever reason, i let the negative thoughts in, saw my flaws or what percieved were my flaws based on what other people had to say went on  on the self sabotage and had a pity party..."why me?"  "things went wrong because of something i did" and i ended up doing the "falling out with God" if there was a God why would these things happen, if there was a God why would he give me more misery, if there was a gOd why would he take people out my life, I became a negative person and envious towards other's who i percieved to have what i'd had. I was thinking with my  lower self which is the jealousy, bitterness, envy  and all the negative traits that are in us all and and maybe even think religion doesn't fit right, which it might not but only when you don't realise that religion is simply a belief and it can all be changed.
Thinking of God as seperate to religion for those who religion doesn't sit right , God is love which is in us all. The creative driving force which propels us on a daily basis to strive for better, be good people, be nice to our loved ones, those closest to us, but also to smile at strangers we pass in the street, think good thoughts when we hear of good deeds. This is the higher self, the God spark that fills us with love, confidence, boosts our self esteem, happiness and all the positive traits.
God is hope.
Religion is the belief in a controlling power which God is or can be for many,  a trust, a way of life, a thought process. 
As a child at school i had a healthy attitude to religion, for me it was unlimiting, it was one religion covered all, i'd join clubs held by different religions and i loved the mix. I'm very much the same today, i'm a spiritualist as i believe and know we live on, death doesn't end us. But i freely accept each religions and love to learn more about many religions, the different gods in religions and culture in general. I'm all for a melting pot of people, backrounds and religions. What doesn't sit well with me is when a religion rules your life and changes you, so if God is love and basically an energy we all carry, religion is a man made organisation it can only be a human that puts the dogma there and it is a physical human being setting the rules and regulations that are thrust upon us. This for me, is where the confusion happens, its actually not God we go against, its the religious rules and regulations we go against. My thoughts have always varied on this but ultimately i always come back to God is love and kindness in ourselves and when we "fall out with God" or "God doesnt sit right with me" we're actually not liking parts of ourselves or our life isn't going how we think it should.
It used to make me cringe when i heard people say the word "God" back years ago when i'd "fell out" and went through a phase that God didn't exist, i'd still go to church but would keep my head up and eyes open, when someone said "let's bow our heads and pray" i'd have my phone inside a hymn book and play a game when it came to hymns or songs and i'd mouth blah, blah, blah or just move my mouth to make it look like i was singing. These were my acts of defiance against a God that i'd fell out with. When i look back at those times, i chuckle to myself and think i must have still believed in something to be in the church in the first place, and ive went to church all my life!
My Mom would have to take me as a child because i wanted to go, then a sunday school teacher would pick me up as i grew a little older until finally i was old enough to go along with different clubs i was in...The Girls Brigade, Brownies, Girl Guides. At church youth clubs i'd always be drawn to the people who were interested in the God side of things and we'd find we'd talk to those running the clubs about God etc. I'd attend a baptist church, pentecostal, united reformed, catholic, protestant, methodist, brethren (can't remember the denomination) and would take part in regular bible studies, scripture searches and once a week would go with a few friends,  to the home of one who would play guitar and his wife would sing and we'd all join in then enjoy pop and biscuits or cakes then chat about God, they were great times! One of my Sunday school teachers from my childhood, a lovely purely spiritual lady called Theresa, i visited her weekly until a few days before she passed in 2013, i'd help her in her home, i'd talk "god" and took my 2 children to visit her and she'd tell them bible stories, which they enjoyed and still remember her very fondly now. She hadn't believed in life eternal the way i do, but a week before she took ill, she told me she'd seen her beloved husband who was the pastor of the church and a lovely lovely man, she asked me if she had been dreaming but i'd assured her he was there to be with her through her illness and when the time came he would "take her home" this gave her great peace, and i was pleased she was happy to be reunited with her beloved Jimmy.
I enjoyed the coming together, the community spirit, even though i was a child and teenager but thats always carried forward with me, so GOD has always been in me which i do understand to be LOVE. 
I can also recognise i've always been a positive person but have had my times of negativity and when i look back on those, i recognise those are the times ive "fell out with God" basically fell out of love with myself, not liked myself. Instead of recognising that at the time i'd blame God, because i didn't want to take the blame myself! why would i! it wasn't my fault! In reality it was my thought process and understanding that God was an almighty being who watched and saw all, he would have seen the times i "did bad" or "sad bad things" or "wished bad to others" so of course he was going to fall out with me, BUT he couldn't if i fell out with him first!  
I'm not a "bible basher" nor a "religious freak" nor do i live my life by a religious rules or regulations, but i live my life as me, by me but with God by my side and within me, that is love. 
The universe is energy and a greater power, a cosmic power that has it's own universal laws which are natural laws, i prefer to live my life by natural laws and the universe.
So if it helps you to understand what God is and how you can build that relationship with God, think of love and letting love in, allow yourself to let love into your heart.
It genuinely gives you a lift and puts a smile on your heart.
So let God in and watch the changes for the better within and in your life. When you hear anyone say God bless, remember they are saying be blessed with love.
​God Bless

When in a dreamt state, your mind and body are at the most relaxed, it can be the time your loved ones and guides take the chance to connect with you. 
Because we are in a constant state of 'busy', our minds are on the go and often, many of us go to sleep with our minds still racing and we aren't aware of the 'stillness' but we may wake thinking 'that was a funny dream' or 'i remember a loved ones face in my dream' then we think no more about it.  If you were to think it through a little more, you would find it makes sense or you were visited.
Dreams happen when you are in REM sleep state, a very deep sleep when you are at your most relaxed and when you have the most vividest dreams. 
A very common dream is teeth, whether falling out, having a mouthful of loose teeth or at the dentist, teeth is a very prevalent dream when you look into it.
Next time you remember your dreams, keep a book by your bed to write them down or what stands out in your memory and then look into it. It can be something relating to your waking life. 
​Hope this helps make sense of yours 

A quick tip to finding your hearts desire.
Our busy lives mean we lose sight on our life's purpose at times, this exercise helps to bring that back.
​​1 ~ Find a quiet space and sit as comfortable as possible, with your back straight, uncrossed legs and hands in your lap
2 ~ Set an intention to relax deeply, remembering everything that happens during the visualisation, to truly benefit from it
3 ~ Close your eyes and take a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Take a total of seven breaths and with each exhale, imagine your going deeper and deeper into relaxation, becoming calmer as your thoughts slow
4 ~ Now imagine you're walking in a town centre, along a busy street. Imagine the shops and buildings as you pass by. Notice if it is daytime or night-time. Walk with a spring in your step and watch yourself as though you were watching another person. As you walk, people jostle you as they pass by. You come to a street corner, turn left and ahead of you is a huge advertising billboard
5 ~ Stop and read the billboard, it's promoting and acknowledging what is great about you. Does it show a picture of you with someone else? Have you won an award? Is it a book you have written? What does the text say? Set your intention to recall all your first thoughts about it
6 ~ Now take a deep breath and slowly bring yourself back into the present, breathing normally
7 ~ Take a few moments to write down what came to mind in your visualisation and reflect on any insights. 
​This is a great way to remind yourself about yourself!