There's a fine line between being confident and being overly confident.
I suffered with a lack of confidence when i was younger, i thought other's knew better, who was interested in what i had to say, took more notice of other people's achievements and measured myself up against them. Even silly things like people might like me more if i had curlier hair, my smile was different, i wore different clothes, even thought if my parents decorated the house in a different colour or style, the list goes on and on. Those things were a big thing to me when i was younger in my early teens, and my self esteem was low, even though my parents owned their own home, i wanted for nothing within reason, I still felt i didn't match up to others and my expectations of myself were high and when i failed, my confidence and esteem would slide further down. I tried many things over the years and couldn't see my successes, i'd had a saturday job at 14, went straight into full time work, had a good circle of friends, parents that loved me and a nice home.
Every now and again i'd tell myself it only mattered to me how i was, i didn't realise i was the only one bothered by me "thoughts" and "how i should be"
It took me a long time to realise that, as i picked myself up trying to better myself, people around me seemed to change and pull away. I didn't realise like drew like, so when i was feeling negative about myself i'd be attracting people with the same thoughts and as i tried to better myself i was always pulling myself back over as it felt comfortable. I had family members say i'd changed and i wasn't their sort anymore, i was fine with that and still am, as i've found there's always a positive outcome for everyone involved when there's a break.
From a young age, i read magazine's, watched tv shows and read books on confidence and esteem, i've found through trial and error that not everything will work for everyone, but here's some tips that do work
I Hope these tips help you if you struggle with low self esteem or lack of confidence.
I welcome any comments or feedback and be grateful if you could share to help others.
Based on the law of attraction, a universal law, which applies to anyone.
Our thoughts are powerful and creative. Cosmic ordering is about harnessing that positive energy and using it to help realize your dreams and goals.
Visualize in as much detail as you can, you have to be precise what it is you want and hold that request in your mind with no worry but setting your intention, release it to the universe. The universe should then be left to its own creative way. It's important to not worry or think about how it will happen, as the universe can often manifest for you in the most unexpected and surprising way.
Think of it like this, if you placed an order from a catalogue you wouldn’t worry about how the goods would be delivered, you would just wait for them to arrive, so do the same here and forget about it, let the universe do it’s magical work and sort out all the details for you.
Is there certain things i can ask for?
Always be positive and open when asking. It can be anything from a new home, a soul mate, money, healing, health, a new car – be as creative in your desires as you wish, it can be small things or large things, it’s your list to update and amend as you want to. Start by asking for small things for example a parking space, or a seat on the train in the rush hour. It is best not to ask for too many things at once and to be thankful and grateful whenever it comes your way. Don't let worries come in the way or you might block the universe from helping you.
After Peter passed, i was in need of a table and chairs and couldn't afford one, i sent out my thoughts and a couple of weeks later someone mentioned they had one they were giving away, it was immaculate and done the job until i could afford one.
“Be careful what you wish for… you just might get it!” This needs to be considered, as the universe is indeed very powerful. Make lists and really think things through. You can cancel and change orders but don’t confuse the universe with too many differing requests, be very clear. Be specific.
It is important to be positive, make it personal to you. Make sure theycome from an open and loving heart. It does not work to wish for things for others that are vengeful or negative.
When a baby passes over a medium can only bring evidence of what you know, whether thats a miscarriage, still birth or termination, they can let you know who they are with and give you proof of them being around you.
A rainbow appears shortly after a storm, rainbow babies are healthy babies born shortly after a miscarriage, stillbirth or a loss of a baby. Something beautiful coming out of something not so good, symbolizing hope.
Rainbow babies are sometimes called miracle babies, because they bring a lot of healing to parents after a recent loss but also some guilt before the healing takes place.
All babies are blessings and losing a baby can cause a lot of upset, depending on a few factors like, length of pregnancy, if you know you're actually pregnant or not etc. How a woman deals with her emotions at that time can be hard. It's important to grieve and allow the loss to process in your mind as you might find it's harder to feel the excitement a new baby brings
I would definately have to agree with this!
I'd not really thought about life cycles until a few years ago, and i can now actually sit back and see where a cycle has begun and ended in my life.
The one that really stuck out to me was...in 2004 i was working as a carer in a nursing home, at the end of Oct 2004 my husband was diagnosed with a rare cancer and doctors gave him a month to build his strength up before starting chemo and radio therapy for 8 weeks. The care home manager was great, moving me to diversional therapist (i'd done that before) so i could reduce my hours and fit it with Peter's daily treatments which i went to with him and my kids. As his treatment started to take it's toll it was clear he needed my support, so i finished my last shift at the care home on Dec 31st 2004 and my life changed. Peter had been a builder and we both had a good income, a nice lifestyle and kids were well looked after. But now it seemed to all fade away and i went through massive changes, we all did. We'd always hoped he would be the first one to survive this rare cancer but in Aug 2008 he passed over. Because Peter had known this he decided we had to learn to live without him and he started to put things into place that would devastate me and my kids and start a ball of lies and deceit that benefitted him as it made it easier to come to terms with not being with us. I know he regretted his decisions.
My life as i'd known it had ended Dec 31st 2004 but at the end of 2013, i had a call from a friend who i'd known since the age of 19 and who i'd worked with in the home, to say my job had come open, though it had on many occasions over the years but for some reason i came to his mind then, he'd spoke to the manager and she'd asked me to go in..it was Dec 2013 and i restarted my job Jan 2014..i remember thoughts coming into my mind "10 years virtually to the day" , " I was back living my life", and "my life had continued in the exact same spot" as it had seemed to come apart. So the 10 year cycle had started Dec 2004 and ended Jan 2014..I wouldn't change anything about those 10 years as i found a lot out about myself, my strength and how people can see things in a totally different perspective to how they actually are. It made me see how negative people will make anything fit to how they want it to look so it suits them, and how people's misconceptions can be twisted due to what's going on around them and how to some people 2 + 2 make 39, 42, 75 etc anything rather than 2 + 2 actually making 4. I remember going through the worst of that time and hearing the words "the truth will out" and not realising yes the truth does come out eventually! But more on that in future blogs...
So life definately comes in life cycles, if you look back over events and happenings in your life, you'll see your cycles
I've been regressed twice and both times helped me immensely, these are my thoughts on it.
I was regressed as i thought it might help me understand myself and it did. Whether i've actually lived those 2 lives or because i'm human and my brain has tried to make sense in a way i would understand i really don't know.
I do know from regression i understood myself more than i did before, and in some ways helped with my mediumship as i understood myself, for example, i could understand the reasons behind my thinking, see why illnesses appear, understand why i am how i am and who i am.
It did release a lot of emotions and the first time i was regressed i did cry throughout the experience but felt better afterwards.
You should never go through a passing in regression and to me, whether thats an actual past life passing or again, my brain making sense of a traumatic experience without me actually remembering that experience i don't know.
The 2 people that regressed me were for me amazing and i could definately say there was no planting seeds in my mind or suggestive thoughts that might have led me to think or feel the way i did, they asked questions like "what year is it" "what clothes was i wearing" , "did i work" and "did i recognise the area" etc and questions along those lines, so nothing that could lead me. In the first regression i was a male in Kentucky in the mid 1800's (I've never been to Kentucky or America), in the second regression again i was a male in London's east end in the late 1800's (i've been to London once, for 2 days to windsor castle and the millenium dome, so definately not the east end of London)
It does involve a hypnosis, which not everyone can be hypnotised, but if you are going to be regressed look into it carefully as there are a lot of people that say it takes hours and many times, but in my opinion it doesn't, it takes approx 20/30 mins as you can't stay "under" for too long, and don't let anyone feed you seeds of suggestions let your own thoughts come through.
NO NO and NO!
A lot of people who don't understand mediumship do say it's mind reading, but it's definately not, how could it be, when some of the things you don't even know yourself and have to go away and ask, you then find out it's right?
Mental mediums work through the mind via a series of pictures, thoughts, feelings which we call the psychic senses transferred to them via spiritual energy, but we don't read from the mind, otherwise you would know everything we tell you.
A mental medium is a medium who passes messages orally from spiritual connections
Just like in the physical body, if we've had illness or upset it can deplete our energies and it can take some of us a little while to pull ourselves round and we have friends and family rally round helping and looking after us. Same happens when we pass over, there's an adjustment period where some loved ones pick up their energy and adjust and friends and family in the spirit side of life rally round, helping with the adjustment.
When we're born physically we start to learn from family and friends, we go to school, some will go onto college or university to further their learning. When we passover it's a death, ending or loss to us but, its a birth to the spirit side so the learning and growing begins but this time it's not physically growing but a mind expansion, energy growth. Again some spirits go on to develop further which is where the further education comes in, the shedding of emotional scars, the rising above, the purer energy. So on the spirit side of life there is what we call the halls of learning where this takes place.
It is very similar to a parallel universe if you like.
So there is no death only eternal life
Loved ones over in spirit will be trying in some way to get through to you, but if our grief is too much it can hold them back or we can miss the signs and messages. A lot of people say they can't come through for 6 months but they can and do, depending on your grief.
It means different things to different people, to me it means reflecting on the not so good memories that can overwhelm us because we still carry a mixed bag of emotions. As each emotion opens or we go deeper into our memories, perhaps specific situations, times or to do with certain people and we feel the emotion, a lot of us close the door but in fact, we should be opening the door as much as we can bear and as we do, confront our emotions and allow them to come through but start to look at the not so good memory in a different way to allow the healing to take place, which then allows ourselves to rid ourselves of the hurt or pain we feel. As we contemplate or rethink our emotions we're opening up the possibilities of changing our understanding, maybe seeing things in a different way and understanding reasons, heightened emotions and others thinking and we therefore can rationalise things that decrase pain we hold. It may take a few days or longer to deal with each step forward or opening that door more, but at each step our own healing takes place to move us forward to a new understanding of our own reactions. Maybe we blame ourselves too much instead of proportioning blame or maybe we blame others instead of taking blame ourselves when in fact the reality is, once you contemplate and rethink things turning them this way and that, you might actually find there's no blame just reactions which can become distorted and we can sometimes cause our own emotional distress which we hold onto. Our minds are the strongest muscle we have and at times can cause a vicious circle of reactions which can be easy to fall into. For some people, carrying a burden or issue since childhood can start to weigh heavy as we bury it with other issues due to the original issue and so on and so on, then they get so far buried it can be so hard to uravel or they feel so worn down it can feel like too much of an effort so they don't deal with it and carry on burying.
When opening the door to look within ourselves can be hard, a lot of people feel emotionally drained which can make us feel physically tired. It's scientifically proven our body stores emotional scars which can weigh us down and cause illnesses, I'm not saying you'll become illness free as you look within, but you will feel better and illnesses may start to relieve.
If there are emotional issues you can't face fully, the best thing you can do is not lay blame, but forgive yourself or the situation if you can't forgive a person and accept whatever happened was your only route or way of coping at that time.
When a weight is lifted you feel a release and actually do feel better for it, the secret is not allowing yourself to slip back down again but keep going.
Looking within also means looking at your flaws and weaknesses and working on those, maybe looking at yourself through someone else's eyes. We never see ourself as other's see us, have you been selfish lately, maybe too wrapped in yourself to notice what's going on with others? Have you noticed friends seeming to back off for seemingly no reason? try taking a moment to look within and look at your actions, behaviour etc
Spiritual growth as a person starts within.
Nearly 11 years ago i lost my husband and due to horrific accusations that i wouldn't subject anyone to, i spent a time in a suicidal, depressed state, seen councellors and everything that goes with it, cutting people off etc for a long time. Then the thoughts kept coming in and i started to reflect, turning everything round and understanding how those ex family members could make accusations, with the help of a fantastic councellor i started to look within and realised that they were trying to transfer what they had done, thought or felt guilty about over onto me to ease their own feelings but they still carry those emotions. Though i still can't forgive them i have forgiven the situation and myself and accepted my choices were the best i could make in the situation. I really did feel a weight lift from me and started to see things in a clearer way. The councellor suggested i write all my thoughts and events at that time down, which i did over a few years as i opened up the emotions. It was then suggested i turn it into a book which i have been writing or putting it into order i should say. As yet my book remains unpublished and without a title as i still continue to look within on a daily basis and add to it, also checking things legally.
I'm hoping to have it published by the end of 2019/2020.
Elaine has a working class backround, and understands the trials of life. Here she shares some of her thoughts on many different topics